How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
