I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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