My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
why is half of my head shaved?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
