I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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