Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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