Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
