You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
