It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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