I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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