Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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