is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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