I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
