thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
