he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize