in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
