i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
