Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize