Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
