i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
