I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
