And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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