So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
