I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
