so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
