so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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