But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
love makes seman taste better
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
