I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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