debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
