Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
