Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
