I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
