bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize