You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
