Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
