So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
