I'll bet she douches with gravy.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
