ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize