sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
