Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
