it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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