I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
