We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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