It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
