i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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