u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
