I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
