I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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