you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
