I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
