did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
