i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
