No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
