Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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