Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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