What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
