Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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