the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I love having hate sex.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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