Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
