whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
