and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
