he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
