so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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