New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
