hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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