Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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