Me. At least after what I've been through.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
