Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
