Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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